a moment of perspective

This month or so since we got back from Christmas has been one of those difficult, yucky times in life that I know will pass... but it is sure not passing soon enough. I have been either suffering from a horrendous cold or post-concussive (post bus incident) the whole time... I keep waiting to wake up and feel well, and it hasn't happened yet. The last two days I have had to crawl back into bed by the middle of the afternoon-- some days it is really my body calling the shots, no arguing, it just quits on me. I am so buried in work (and this interminable book writing that is STILL NOT DONE)... I can hardly see a light at the end of the tunnel. And in the next three months I am going to have two trips to DC, a trip to Texas, a trip or two to South Africa (still to be determined), at least two sets of houseguests, and J's graduation.

Last night I finally made it back to my women's Bible study for the first time since before Christmas. Such a joy to share my burdens in a context of prayer and reflecting on God's truth (fittingly the theme for the evening was perseverance)... and so healthy to hear about other women's struggles. My pregnant neighbor with 2 small boys who is throwing up all the time, my other pregnant neighbor who is so ready for her baby to come, moms with babies who are adjusting to mommyhood or trying to deal with a baby who won't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time... yikes. I am not sure I would really trade places with any of those ladies. It was nice to be reminded that no one's life is easy but that God promises us joy, peace, and victory over discouragement and self-condemnation in all of our unique struggles. (How many of us last night talked about how guilty we feel for our messy houses? I had to laugh!) I am really thankful for those women and how burdens shared just seem so much lighter. Also thankful for my amazing husband who has been so loving and supportive with his stressed, messy wife.

Today I am once again dealing with mountains of work, including planning for two conferences, both Christians AIDS conferences, both facing various delays, miscommunications, and frustrations right now that just make me want to pull my hair out. In researching one of the people I am corresponding with I ran across a biography of the man who has taken over the Langham Partnership from John Stott. (One of the planning tasks I am working on is trying to organize an HIV session for the Lausanne Conference on world missions, to be held in October in Cape Town; that's the connection.)

Somehow reading about this overwhelmed me with awe and a flood of tears-- as if God was breaking through my busy harried brain for just a moment to whisper in my ear about His incredible work around the world. I needed the reminder. I have been praying for joy in my work, but it is hard-- to keep any perspective that my work is more than endless emails and details, that it is in fact a little part of God's kingdom work in the world. I need to be reminded of this incredible story of God drawing people to himself, all over the world. I need to be reminded that this is the reality that is worth devoting my whole life to, even if my little part in the grand story seems small indeed. How cool is it that thousands of people from all over the world will be gathering in Cape Town in October to seek God for the salvation of the world? How cool is it that a hundred or so African church leaders will be gathering in April to seek God for how the church can call people to sexual wholeness and holiness, and defeat AIDS? How cool is it that I may get to be at both meetings? (For sure the second, not sure about Lausanne.)

Please pray for both of these conferences-- for smoother sailing as we plan, and most of all that they would bring about God's kingdom purposes. And pray that God's reality would keep breaking through into my world.